Living underwater.

Ding Dong.
Hello. Im Wani's Pc.
I am now well because I have just had my surgery yesterday. It was an expensive one.
Wani sent me to Low Yatt Hospital for my hdd surgery.
My corrupted hdd has been removed while I was unconsious.
When I woke up last nite, I felt sore in some part of my body.
So, Wani sent me to the experts again.
The second surgery went almost about 2 hours.
Finally, after the surgery ended, even though I felt better than before, I still feel very sad as I have lost some of the best things I've held on to for long time.

sedeyh.
sedeyh.
sedeyh.

mcm nak beli pc baru jer...

You know, when we passed the age of braces and training bras, it feels like something really heavy, like a huge rock, has been put on out shoulders. As if, we've been elected to be the president of ourselves which we already are before we pass this phase. and that huge rock and that election is responsibility. Even now, I cannot believe that Im 19 turing 20 next April.

Im not ready to be old.
Old is bad.

Haha. But I like experience that comes along with the age. Mcm matured and I learn more things. Like, bargaining is a good thing. Even if its worth on RM 1 and friends are the people we got kantoi and suspended with.

Yup. And also, with the age, comes great responsibilities. As a child, student, friend and to our own self. Everywhere we go, there will always be one for us. Because it cant be avoided and it doesnt go away. So, lets just face them.

Diba made me wonder about the interview we had in matrix about this course we are taking. The thiing is, the ministry had offered us such course, and they should have known better whether we are capable or not to complete this degree. Some of my friends applied for a different course and they did not get in and as a compensation, they got this course. Like I've said before, the ministry should have known better when they chosed people like us to be in this course. they should have picked the right people to be in this course. And, if they have chosen the right people to attend this course, they should have also helped these people, they should at least gurantee a place for these people in the degree years. I just dont get it. Is it so corrupted that they were unable to make such important decision? I mean, they said that they said that they would have spent half a million on each of us, but things doesnt seem like how it has to be. They were just so greedy and dim-witted that they chose to just 'melepaskan batuk di tangga'.

Yes. I do know the responsibilitis of being a scholar student. It has been agreed upon po mase registration dulu. Even though the result has not been announced yet, everyone feels as if they would fail one subject and that also includes me.Everytime the lecturer spoke to us, it seems like a preparation to be somewhere else next year.

This is like the last day of our foundation and everyone in cluding me feels that we might not see each other next year. Everyone's been saying goodbye, but not me. Everyone must come back next year, so no goodbyes.

Life in kuching has its own down path and heavenly experience. I will never forget any of that.

I've just finished my final examniation paper yesterday and Im very relieved. lega sangat2 and I feel as if I do not have any burden anymore. really like a baby bird that has just been able to fly after trying so many times.The best part is that, I would be going back next week. So, I really am flying!


You know, sometimes, its so hard to make sacrifes. To give up things that you really like and love, its something that I never thought I would do. Maybe the fact that Im turning 20 scares the hell of me and so I change. But, some part of me says its not it. Believe it or not people, I think I've grown more mature and mature people change.for good.


Sometimes (or is it everytime), when you're all grown up, when you've compromised or 'beralah', people do not seem to either realize or appreciate what we've given in, and this hurts. But bottling emotions in is also a mature action to take.Unless, that other person has gone way beyond the limit.

I found myself feeling very weak these days thinking bout the probs that I've been going through.Well, its more to muhasabah. looking back to my 19 years of living. The happiness and sadness that I've had and brought to other people...Its so sad to think about all the misbehaving and failure that have been going on my life but there's not use crying over a spilt milk and so I move on. Life isnt about the past, instead, its bout how you make life in the present for the future.



Change now and never regret.

These few days of my examination week have been a very hard one.
thank God I found the tranquility in the salawat Angah gave me for the last holiday.
Its Qasida Burdah.
I finally got the lyrics in one of the net pages.

Qasida Burdah

Chorus
Mawlaya salli wa sallim da’iman abada'
Ala habibika khayril khalqi kullihimi
O my Master, send your salutations and blessings forever
Upon Your Beloved, the best of the whole of creation

Muhammadun sayyidul kawnayni wath thaqalayn
Wal fariqayni min 'urbin wa min 'ajami
Muhammad is the master of the two worldsand of Man and the jinn
Leader also of the Arabs, non-Arabs and their kin

Huwal habibul ladhi turja shafa'atuhu
Likulli hawlin minal ahwali muqtahami
Beloved by Allah is he upon whose pleading we depend
From terrors of the Day of Judgement,which on us descend

Chorus

Thummar ridha 'an Abi Bakrin wa 'an 'Umarin
Wa 'an 'Aliyyin wa 'an 'Uthmana dhil karami
Then we ask You to be pleased with Abu Bakr, 'Umar,
'Ali and 'Uthman the generous one

Chorus

Ya rabbi bil Mustafa balligh maqasidana
Waghfir lana ma maa ya wasi'al karami
O my Lord! with the Elect One make us attain our goals
And forgive us for what has passed,O Most Munificent One!


Lyrics: Imam Sharaf al-Din al-Busairi (d.696/1296)
Arrangement: Sami Yusuf
Producer: Sami Yusuf

http://http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-78oMM7yjA&feature=related

I am happy to announce that my course mates and I have successfully finish our first paper (language description) for our foundation finals.
sigh of relief.
thank God, it went well, except that
i have few mistakes, but
the good thing is that I neither feel the sadness nor the nervousness of having to do those mistakes.
This may be due to sveral reasons :
1. I do not want to think about It anymore.
2. Maybe I did well in other sections
3. Maybe He has helped me (by not letting me feel the stressfulness of having to answer few qs wrong)
4. I am just optimistic kind.(the worst one)

the forth example is totally me actually.even since SPM. konon2 bleh buat la, then in the end, the result is not as expected.so, that is why I wrote it as the worst one.

Im actually writing this to prepare myself for tomorrow's essay paper. I hope that I can do better than today for tomorrow's paper.Even though I've never gotten any A's for description yet, I hope that this would be my first.

"God helps those who helped themselves.."