Living underwater.

i will be going home in 2 days and around 10 hours.

yey!

the thing is kan, im not really excited for hari raya.

just the thought of going home that excites me.

i cant stop smiling~

happy sgt.

but, apparently ariff will be flying off that very day.
the flight would be at 11 pm, which means that i wouldnt be able to see him borad the plane
which i think would also be relief. kalo x, kmpem bercucuran air mata.haha.serious ok.to ariff- this is so true ok. im not tryna sound all goody2 here, but yeah, frens for life kan? take care k...

sorry for being such a pain in the ass
the pain that i think would soon turn into somrhting else.
i dunno wtfish is going on but everything feels wrong.
EVERYTHING.

im not being all goody2 here
really
i thought, of everyone thats related to my life,
you would be the last to act in this manner
idiOT.

this really made me rethink about love.
well, it doesnt always go you way is one thing,
the other is that, well, you might just need to bear the pain-
love can fade
affection may sumhow just remain in converstion.
through years, i tot that this is just a notion of ideas without backup arguments
but, it seems im wrong.again.

i really hope im wrong u know.
this thing is bugging me like hell
like the tot that the finals are just a month away.

what happen when people dun understand ur situation and wanted things their way.
sigh.

this reminds me of Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird.
haih
he said that you never understand other people untill you've been in their shoes.
sigh. i think i've to understand her situation as well,
but the things is, she does not try to understand me.
she didnt even try.

so, what should I do?
should i just ignore things or said sorry?
well, i've said sorry actually.
and at that moment, i can still remember the face.
that annoying face.
and as for me, I was like a nuclear bomb waiting to explode.
but, fortunately, this is ramadhan
even though i became a bit like fire cracker, i was able to cntrol my anger.


P/s: Happy birthday kak wawa!!

for the second time today, im writing my thoughts out.

haih. today's zohor was very much a torture.
but i gained calmness and felt tranquility despite the tears that rolled down.

i thought for that moment that whatever the decision that he would make that afternoon, it is for the best of both of us. And at that time, i was totally 100% relying on His decision. At that moment i said to myself, wutever the decision make, it would have certain reasons. Aand also during that time, i was very aware of the possibilities for things to go against me. yesh. big decision. I even asked him to think properly and this time, was not at all like last time. No regrets this time.

I dun feel right la. I dun feel good actually. After surrendering myself to God, I think I gained strength. Grace said to me once that everything in this world, if we choose to go His way, He will make it easy for us even though it is hard..
Im a very normal human being who cries and complain and make mistakes. Not just once or twice but gazillion times. and being very superbly tak phm bahasa, i did all the mistakes over and over again. everytime I think about this, I feel sick. I lost all the calmness i once wore over my body.

I knew this is how God knew how to work.

now im clueless
whether it is still on or not.
of course they said it is still on, but the person whom I talked to last night DID NOT mention anything.
sigh.

anyways, I think, I should stop burdrning people on this kind of stuff.
If its a personal matter, I should solve it personally kan?
yea. I think so too.
Stop letting other people put themselves in positions they aren't suppose to be in.
Do not be too depending. It doesnt always come your way, but you cant do nothing except making the best of it.
Okies wani.
This is maturity calling.
Change. Revolutionize.

Yesh. To tell you the truth, I am in a total deep sh*t. Everyhtin seem to happen out of my control.(yea, i never control anything b4 this pon, but yea, things get worst)
well, actually it is in my control, but wt was I thinking that time?
have I actually been unconsious and did the things I shouldn't? (sound like 'gila sementara')
yea, at the end of the day, people would say that everythin happen for a reason. I hope this particular reason would be a good one. The blood, sweat and tears should worth something, should mean something.

God,
I hope that this Ramadhan would left me, being a better person. yesh, matrty calls for change so that it wouldnt be that hard in the future. Choose to live a life that is fulfilling. Not the one that is fun yet empty. I know, change is a very hard thing to do, but I would give it a lot of shots. heh. tak salah nak try bnyak2 kali.

i made an enormous mistake when i do what i did.
haih.
i felt very2 bad. to myslef, and to other ppl.

sigh.sigh.sigh

wut the fish that i get involve in that tag thingy ?
bodonye la hai...
sigh.sigh.sigh

i wish these things doesnt happen at the first place.
im sorry.
so sorry.

haloo people.....

yesterday was his 20th bday!

HAPPY BDAY TO U,
HAPPY BDAY TO U,
HAPPY BDAY TO FARHAN,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

good luck in future undertakings k syg..
hope that you'll get the best in life..
live well, pray hard, work hard, learn plenty, laugh often and love much

happy bday dear.

lve you~

and its sunday.yesh.
another 20 days of fasting and im off to kl
hehe

the plan was, on 19th, pegi pusak- visit mua family kat sane
in two weeks time, we ought to hand in our social stds assignmnt
next week, the proposal for the tournamnet should be handed in
And next week also, haf to go downton- cari angah's bakul for the engagemnet
no to forget, ma's kek lapis

please remember this wani...

any1 want anything else?

i just lost a friend today and i think it has left me very deep scar.even though she isnt one of my very good friends, but she was still part of my life. i remember one time, we used to play volleyball tog. and i rmmber the ball hit one of us. i couldnt remember who. and then she shouted,

"abisla pecah spotlight!"

I still remember that you know. the smallest thing ever, butshe had said it and everytime any ball in any game hit anybody's chest, i would remember that. sigh. i feel sad. i know that im not one of her besties and being a junior to her makes the gap even broader. but, the thing is that, i really2 felt sad and sorry for her. and her family.

sigh. sigh. sigh

i've known her since i was in my primary. we went to the same school. her sister was in my class and her mom was my class tutor. arwah was a year older than me, the same age as farhan. i think the fact that i know the family, quite well i may say, made me feel gloomy.
arwah used to be a very happy go lucky knida person. thats how i saw it. but, the friends who knew her better would know how she really was. i cant really comment on that coz im not one of her closest but yeah. from a junior who had existed and had observed and had had conversations wit her, i would say that she is a cheerful and a carefree type of person. i've never seen worries on her face maser skola dulu.

Al-Fatihah to Farah Fatin Bt Jamil

i love ramadhan graphics la these days. it feels like raya already!

More RAMADHAN graphics

More RAMADHAN graphics

More RAMADHAN graphics

Alhamdulliah.
its already 1st Ramadhan.another 26 days before going back to kl.
=)

today is like the busiest day ever.the minute i got up, i started doing my compilation of notes and stying grammar.this wednesday is the final test for the semester. which means, its the last before finals in nov.

later at around 430, i'll be going to the bazaar.wa.......i really miss Ramadhan.
kalo maser skola dulu, everybody would like race to go tohe bazaar. smapi ader yg sneak into the bus sbb bukan turn rumah dorg (i think im included too,heh). tp thats the fun part you kno.doing things people dun normally do. it has now become one of my sweetest memoirs.

yea la. i miss school la...the life yg tader probs and free of decision-making.